FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
