you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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