PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
