I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
