she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my being single is dangerous.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
