just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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