Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
