I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
