I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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