My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
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