The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
