come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
