she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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