You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
