9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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