We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
