I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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