Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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