She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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