Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
