why didn't you poke me back
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
don't judge my taste in strippers
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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