It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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