now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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