I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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