Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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