i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
