i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
