I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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