So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
