my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
