So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
