and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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