"it" just moved
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
