Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
