Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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