Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
worst night to have a conscience
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
