Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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