I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
