ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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