his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
