So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
