So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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