How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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