So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize