I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
