You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
