I skipped work to stalk him.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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