I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
