it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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