I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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