I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you didnt know i had herpes?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
